Fayt's Pants
by Winddrag0n
Summary: Bit of oneshot randomness about the true origin of Fayt's pants.


Okay, this will take some explaining. This is a long-running inside joke with my friend,

and we're still not sure of the truth. I even asked my mom one day (needed help with his

cosplay) and found her with the picture of Fayt I had given her taped to her head. She said she

was obtaining the answer through osmosis. Sooooo... eventually THIS was born. WARNING:

random OOCness, extreme Cliff and Sophia bashing, and utter randomness.

Fayt happily skipped around, oblivious to the events that were about to take place. He

had not skipped a yard when he suddenly bumped into a tall young man with a thin waist and a smirk on his lips. "Heh, I finally got you cornered, Leingod," the man sneered. Fayt looked at him blankly.

"Albel, what do you want?" he said, none too kindly. Albel had been mean to him for the whole day, popping out of corners and asking him the same question repeatedly. He sighed. "Albel, for the last time, I am _not_ going to tell you what my pants are made out of."

"It's Floam, isn't it."

"No! You asked me that last time!" Fayt growled, daring him to question him further.

"Fine, fine," Albel sighed. A very scary look suddenly appeared on his face. "Mark my words, Leingod. I _will_ find out in the end." He stalked off to plot some more, Fayt watching him step on every living thing he could find. He eventually stepped on a very thorny plant, and hopped away, cursing. Fayt happily resumed his pointless skipping, managing to trip over nothing in particular several times.

Albel sat gloomily in a corner, thinking. How could he find out what Fayt's pants were made of? The question had popped into his head one day, and it would not stop bugging him. Suddenly, and idea came to him. He was just about to go find Fayt again when Cliff and Sophia appeared out of nowhere. "Whatcha' doin'?" the blond asked.

"Nothing," Albel muttered. "Piss off, Cliff."

The blond man looked crestfallen. "Don't you love me anymore Albel?"

"No!" Albel spat. "I never did in the first place!"

"I beeeeeet you're liiiiiieeeeeeeiiiiing!" the girl sang.

"GO AWAY!" Albel roared. He couldn't take more of this. He had other things to do. Without a word, he pushed past the two annoying people and stalked off to find Fayt again. He didn't even notice them following him.

Fayt, who was now slightly bruised and had made a ring of dirt in the grass from skipping in a circle, cringed when he saw Albel stomping towards him. He sat down heavily in the grass to wait. "I'm not telling you– ALBEL!" The man had simply ignored what he had said and grabbed his arm.

Albel leaned over towards Fayt. "Shut up and come with me, Leingod," he whispered seductively in Fayt's ear. Fayt blushed slightly. He allowed himself to be dragged off, knowing it was better then a clawed hand through his gut. They reached a deserted-looking little cottage, and Albel practically threw Fayt inside.

"Ow!" Fayt winced. "That hurt!"

"Not as much as this is going too," Albel hissed. He put his face up to Fayt's, their noses almost touching. He began to run his fingers across Fayt's chest.

"W-what are you doing?" Fayt stammered, blushing. Albel's fingers suddenly made spider motions, and Fayt went into a fit of giggling. "S-stop tickling me, Albel!" (HA! No groping for you, fangirls! ------ bloody hypocrite) They rolled around on the floor, Fayt struggling to escape Albel's grasp.

"I'll stop if you tell me what your pants are made of," he said evilly. Fayt caved in after a few more minutes of tickling.

"Okay, OKAY! I'll tell you!" They immediately stopped rolling around, but Albel still had Fayt pinned to the ground. "Now get off me!"

"Not until you tell me."

"Okay... my pants are made of–"

The door to the cottage suddenly burst open, and Cliff, Nel, and Sophia walked in. Sophia took one look at the men on the ground and ran out of the room, crying. Cliff's bottom lip began to quiver. "I thought you loved _ME_, Albel!" He turned and ran out of the cottage. Loud sobs could soon be heard somewhere off in the distance. Nel just sort of looked at them and raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, sorry for intruding?" she apologized uncertainly.

"Uh, this isn't what it looks like," Fayt said quickly.

"I'm sure it isn't," she said doubtfully, and walked away.

Albel had ignored all of this. "Okay, now tell me."

Fayt sighed. "They're made of... ... ...actually, I have no idea..."

Albel's jaw dropped. "You mean you DON"T KNOW!"

Fayt grinned sheepishly. "I never really thought about it. I mean, Nel was the one who picked out these clothes anyways... why don't you go ask her?"

Albel considered it for a minute. "Naw, I don't really care anymore." His eyes became unfocused for a minute, then suddenly became filled with a new emotion. He grinned devilishly. "So, what's that flap for?"

For those of you who didn't get that last bit, the front of Fayt's pants has this flappy thing. It's probably so he can go to the bathroom without spending eight hours trying to take off his pants, but I like to call it the 'easy-access flap.' Oh, and while most people seem to refer to Albel and Fayt as 'boys', I refer to them as 'men' because they are both over 18.


End file.
